Mortgage Trek. The Motion Picture.

Mortgages. The Final Frontier.

These are the voyages of The Prolific Enterprise. Its ongoing mission, to explore current mortgage lending.

To seek out lenders currently accepting interest only and products that do not get pulled within an hour.

To boldly go, where no broker has gone before....

Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Brokers log. Star date 08.03.2012.

Uhura has been busy trying to secure funds with Woolwich and seems to be encountering communication problems. The ship is worried. Over a 24 hour period Uhura's communication has been falling on deaf ears and fears the Kingons have overtaken Woolwich are rising. "Woolwich. This is Prolific Enterprise. Come in Woolwich. We require funds for a client but are being told that none are available. We need urgent assistance. Come in Woolwich!"

Nothing.

Meanwhile, the deck is concerned about the welfare of Spock. He was transported to an old planet Northern Rock over 2 weeks ago with important documents for processing and so far we have heard nothing from the Rock, or Spock. The Rock are under transition from the Genesis project which has seen them blosom into a beautiful planet called Virgin Money, but somewhere in this megamorphisis, parts of the planet are suffering from the change. Service levels are slower and backlogs are being formed. Spock continues to investigate, but channels of communication again from planet Virgin Money are very quiet at present and Uhura is working on trying different channels to gain access.

We continue to press through the meteor storm of last minute rate pulls. Shields have been up for the last 3 weeks but Prolific Enterprise has taken hit after hit but she's holding up. "Engine Room? Status report"

"Ucchhh. I dooon't think the engines can take much more of the rate pulls Cap'n. Its takin' a pounding Sirrrr"

"Thank you Scottie. I need full impulse power. These rate pulls look set to continue so I need you to give me eveyrthing you have."

"It can't take much more Cap'n!"

Prolific Enterprise continues its mission. New planets are forming in the way of fantastic buy to let products with Planet Skipton, Abbey and Natwest continuing to excel. The beautiful planet of Godiva also continues to shine as do Clydesdale. But as we journey on, we know Prolific Enterprise is heading for the Residential Nebular. An area of space where we expect turbulance and perhaps a bit more of a pounding from the residential rates that have been rising since star date 15.12.2011. Yet whilst our rates continue to increase, the parrellel universe of "Dual Pricing" seems to be keeping their rates static, with NatWest proving to be the greatest culprits. We have been to war with them before over this, and we brace ourselves for another. A meeting is set, to discuss it with one fo their generals.

Brokers all over the System are currently in the medical room. Severely injured in "The Great Battle of The Rate Pull". Conditions are not fatal, and brokers will make a full recovery, but Bones is seeing more and more visit him in what almost seems like an epidemic of sufferers from the late rate pull. As I walk past the medical room I fight back the tears hearing one of my crew shout "Not even an hours notice. Why? WHY DAMN IT?" It's like torture.

"Bones? Can you not do something to battle the rate pull infection?"

"Damn it Jim i'm a doctor, not a miracle worker!"

Chekov has noticed some strange goings on in the SVR System and these continue to be monitored. "Dey seeeem to be expaaanding Captain. De rates! Dey are growing in frrrront of my very eyes. Deese poor civilians!" Expanding svrs for the great planets of Halifax, and RBS have alerted The Enterprise that whislt rates rise, many thousands of civilians are to be effected. We are in communication with many of these planets civilians to inform them of the danger they face and have suggested to our alliance that they do the same.

As I look around my ship, around space at the damage being done by late rate pulls, dual pricing and criteria changes, its clear that our mission remains a tough one. But all battleships are strong. Prolific Enterprise, like many others in the system have seen it, been through it, and come out the other end. Whilst the ship has been damaged in many parts, the opportunity to repair, rebuild and even better the ships performance is also there with the SVR increases and the buy to let resurgence making this an opportunity for all of us to find warp speed.

Shields up, Phasers on stun. This is a war at present. But a war we can win. We must win. The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few. Or the One.

Kirk out!